And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
