try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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