i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
