We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
