I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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