Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Text me some of your sweat
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
