anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
