Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
two words: eviction party
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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