I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
