I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
