worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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