Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
