So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
