I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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