i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
