he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
