I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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