I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
