someone get that fucking seahorse.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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