im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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