That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
