But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
