so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
