tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
