I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
