Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
