i love accidental penises.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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