I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
