hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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