We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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