WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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