Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
