I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
