I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
