he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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