i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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