needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
