She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
