bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
