Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
