Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
