Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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