I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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