I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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