at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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