Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
