It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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