i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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