He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
