Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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