dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
