i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
