I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
