I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
